


A Series of Dates

by anonfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 12:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6805600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonfanfic/pseuds/anonfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of dating stories for modern Clexa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Date

**Author's Note:**

> A collection of modern Clexa dating stories.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: @anonfanfic and Twitter: @beast_kru
> 
> Thanks for reading!!

The coffee shop was not very busy for a Saturday. Octavia, Raven, and Clarke sat around a small table chatting and laughing. Clarke was half focused on the conversation and half focused on the blank page in front of her. It had been weeks since she had drawn anything, her inspiration left her when Anya did. 

"She's looking again." Octavia chuckled and ducked her head so only those at her small table could hear her. 

"What is that like three times?" Raven laughed and looked over at Clarke Griffin who had her nose in her sketchbook and was purposely ignoring her annoying friends. "Clarke go put the poor girl out of her misery and at least say 'hi'.

Clarke looked up with an exasperated look and sighed at her friends. "Oh, I'm sorry was I not being clear enough that I'm ignoring you?" Clarke held up her pencil and scribbled quickly on the blank paper in front of her. She tore of the paper and flung it in Raven's direction before going back to her sketching.

"What does it say?" Octavia asked, craning her neck to read Clarke's writing. 

"I'm ignoring you." Raven rolled her eyes and threw the paper on the middle of the table. "Come on Clarke, you broke up with Anya months ago. It's time to cast that net out again. Let me tell you this girl is a catch." Raven persisted and Clarke buried her head further into her sketchbook, determined to ignore her friend. 

"Doesn't look like we have to push Clarke anymore. Pretty girl's coming over." Octavia had a devious smile on her face. "And all of a sudden I have to use the restroom. Raven care to join me?" 

Raven's smiled matched Octavia as both got up from the table and grabbed their bags. "Don't worry we'll take our time." Raven whispered into Clarke's ear before they walked away. Clarke tried to swat at her but missed and almost knocked over her cup of coffee. 

"Whoa, hey." A smiling voice came up behind her and steadied the cup in front of her. "Bad time?" The tall girl asked, pointing her thumb at the now giggling and retreating form of Raven as she followed Octavia to the bathrooms. 

Clarke looked up and nearly gasped when she saw the intense green eyes looking down at her. "No, she's constantly like that. I just learn to live with it." Clarke tried to play off her expression and smiled. 

"I'm Lexa." The girl held out her hand for Clarke to shake. "Do you think I could join you for a minute?" She asked as Clarke took her hand and shook it for a second. 

"Yeah, sure." Clarke smiled pointing to the seat next to her that Raven had just left. "I'm Clarke, by the way." Clarke felt stupid for not introducing herself. It had been quite a while since she had a reason to be this flustered. 

"So, you draw?" Lexa pointed down at the sketchbook in front of Clarke.

"I try to draw. Haven't had much success lately." Clarke admitted, looking down at the blank page in front of her. 

"Do you mind?" Lexa asked, tentatively taking the book from in front of Clarke.

"Sure, go ahead. There's not much in it." Clarke was a little nervous about a complete stranger looking at her drawings. She barely let her friends she her drawings. 

Lexa flipped through the pages and a smile crossed over her face. "These are really good." She turned the page and a familiar face was staring up at them. Clarke had though she had gotten rid of all the drawings of Anya. She could feel her face burning as Lexa paused on the portrait. "She's pretty. Girlfriend?" Lexa asked and Clarke could tell her was trying to sound nonchalant. 

Clarke squirmed slightly in her seat. "Um, ex-girlfriend actually." Clarke stared at the drawing and then looked up at Lexa. "We broke up a couple of months ago."

Lexa nodded and turned the page to a drawing of a beautiful park Clarke and Anya had always gone to for a picnic lunch. "I'm sorry. But I guess it saves us the awkward interaction of me asking if you're into girls, right?" 

Clarke couldn't help but laugh a little at Lexa trying to break the tension. "I guess so. So, tell me do you always approach random girls in coffee shops?" Clarke was actually a little surprised at how smooth she was being. She could feel the sweat building on her palms and resisted the urge to wipe them on her jeans. 

Now it was Lexa's turn to laugh, "I don't make a habit out of it. Mostly I admire from a far. Wait, that sounds creepy." Lexa's cheeks turned the cutest shade of pink Clarke had ever seen, she actually felt her heart flutter slightly at the sight. 

"It's okay, I understand. It can be hard to put yourself out there sometimes." Clarke needed something to do with her hands. She quickly grabbed a napkin laying on the table and started to tear pieces off. 

"Yeah, but I really want to meet you." Lexa admitted, the pink in her cheeks growing a little brighter. 

Clarke's eyes grew wide and she coughed a little at the shock of Lexa's words. "Really? Why?" Clarke couldn't help but wonder what had drawn Lexa to her. 

"I don't really know. You just caught my eye and I saw you drawing. I just wanted to meet you." Lexa shrugged and tried to avoid Clarke's eyes. "I was hoping maybe you would want to meet up later tonight for a drink?"

Before Clarke could answer she felt strong hands on her shoulders. "She would love to meet you later." Raven and Octavia had returned and Clarke could feel the red hot burn return to her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to wish her two friends away for just a few more minutes. 

Lexa seemed to take it in stride and quickly grabbed Clarke's phone off the table. "Let me give you my number." She grabbed Clarke's hand and put her finger to the home button to unlock the screen. Clarke nearly pulled away in shock at the sudden touch. Lexa put in her number and got up from the table. "It was nice to meet you Clarke. Looking forward to later." Lexa smiled at Raven and Octavia and turned to walk back to her own table. 

Raven and Octavia quickly sat back down and insisted on hearing every detail about the conversation. Clarke told them everything and tried not to think about how flustered she was going to be in a few short hours meeting Lexa again.

Later that night Clarke was sitting in her room in the apartment she shared with Octavia and Raven. She stared at herself in the mirror, wondering if she should change her outfit for the fifth time. 

"Clarke, let's go. You're not getting out of this." Raven called from the other side of the door. "She expecting you in twenty minutes." 

"Raven! I told you to stay out of my phone!" Clarke got up from her seat and ran out of her room to chase Raven into the living room holding her phone. "Give it!" Clarke grabbed the phone from Raven's hand and checked her recent messages. "You sent her a wink face?!" Clarke exclaimed as Raven collapsed onto the couch in laughter. 

"It's called flirting Clarke." Raven said between laughs as Octavia walked into the room and sat next to Raven's head on the couch. 

"Stop torturing her. She's nervous enough." Octavia smiled down at Raven and then looked up at Clarke. "You look hot, now go get your girl." Octavia winked at her. Her two roommates sometimes acted like her parents. Raven the playful and awkward dad and Octavia the protective and caring mom. 

"I'll be home later." Clarke turned and walked to the door.

"No rush." Raven called after her as she walked out the door with a groan. 

Clarke walked into the crowded bar and took a quick look around for Lexa. She didn't see her right away and once again her palms were growing sweaty with anticipation. 

"Hey." Lexa's voice came from behind her and Clarke spun around to see Lexa smiling at her with a drink in her hand. "Can I buy you a drink?" Clarke smiled at her, something about Lexa put her nerves at ease. 

"I'd like that." Clarke let Lexa led her to the bar. Clarke felt herself relax as she and Lexa started to talk. Lexa was funny, kind, and really listened when Clarke spoke. After a few drinks Clarke felt herself loosen up even more. Lexa's hand moved to brush against Clarke's. She wasn't sure if it was the light touches or alcohol but Clarke's head was starting to spin. It was probably a mixture of both because soon Lexa's face was so close to Clarke's she could smell the sweet liquor on her breath. 

"I'd ask if you want to come back to my place. But I don't want to rush anything." Lexa whispered into Clarke's ear. A shiver went up Clarke's spine and she felt like her lungs were constricted in her chest. 

"Let's go." Clarke felt the words leave her mouth without any thought. She breathing was coming in short bursts now, she had never done anything like this before. 

Lexa pulled away to look at Clarke with a concerned look, "Are you sure?" She asked grasping Clarke's hand and licking her lips slowly. 

Clarke looked at Lexa and nodded, the alcohol giving her bravery she didn't normally have in these situations. 

Lexa took Clarke's hand in her own and laced their fingers together. She threw some bills on the bar and started to make her way through the crowd with Clarke in tow. Just as they were about to reach the exit Clarke felt a tug on her other arm and turned to see Anya staring at her. 

Clarke froze and Lexa turned to see what had happened. Clarke knew Lexa recognized Anya from the drawing and for some reason felt guilty for seeing her here. She wanted to explain that she had no idea that Anya would be here tonight, but she didn't have time before all hell broke loose. 

"Who's this?" Anya pointed at Lexa with her free hand, the other held her drink and phone. Anya looked at Clarke with a mixture of hurt and anger as she waited for her response. 

"This is my date Lexa." Clarke made sure to emphasize the word 'date'. Not to make Anya jealous, but to make sure Lexa knew she wasn't ashamed to be out with her. 

"Aren't you better than dating this type of trash Clarke?" Anya looked at Lexa now, trying to get under her skin with the most powerful weapon she had, her words. 

Lexa stepped forward, not hesitating for a moment to get in Anya's face. "I'm sorry?" Lexa was a few inches taller than Anya and she used that to her advantage as she got closer into her personal space. "Did I hear you say something?" Lexa was getting heated and Clarke wanted to try and defuse the situation before it got out of hand. 

Clarke grabbed Lexa's arm and tried to pull her back. "Hey, she's not worth it. Let's just go." Clarke seemed to be getting through to Lexa who took a step back. 

"I was worth it all those times you screamed my name in bed though." Anya retorted and that was it. Lexa moved faster than Clarke could imagine and her fist connected hard with Anya's face. 

Security swarmed and Clarke felt herself being lifted up and walked toward the exit. Lexa was right behind her being held back by two security guards while Anya was being fireman carried by the last guard. 

Lexa and Anya tried to grab at each other with everything they had, both screaming insults and threats at the other as they got pushed out of the club and onto the cold street. 

Clarke quickly found Lexa on the crowded sidewalk and grabbed her arm. "Hey, let's just go. She's all talk." Lexa was searching for Anya, her fisted balled so tightly her knuckles were white. 

"Hey, hey." Clarke took Lexa's chin in her fingers and pulled her face to look at her. "Let's go, walk me home?" Lexa's eyes were unfocused for a moment, but soon she found Clarke's eyes and nodded. 

"I'll get you home." Lexa replied and took Clarke's hand once again. "I'm sorry about that." She said after she had calmed down and they had walked away from the club. 

"It's okay. I had no idea she was going to be there tonight." Clarke still felt guilty that Anya had found her. 

"That's not your fault. She confronted you. She wanted to start something and I shouldn't have let her get under my skin." Lexa dropped her head for a second, clearly disgusted with her actions. 

"Well, why don't you make it up to me when we go out again?" Clarke was not only feeling the alcohol now, but the adrenaline from the fight.

Clarke saw Lexa smile and it made her happy to see her face light up.

"I'd like to take you out again." Lexa smiled and pulled Clarke a little closer. "Maybe not that club though." Lexa laughed lightly. 

They got to Clarke's apartment and stood in front of the door for a long time with their hands locked together. 

"I'd say that's one of my top first dates ever. Top three easily." Lexa gave Clarke a crooked smile. 

"Top three? What could have happened on the other two?" Clarke was slightly astonished. 

"I think I'll save that for our second date." Lexa leaned in slowly, giving Clarke every chance to stop her. Clarke didn't want to stop her, in fact she felt herself lean in and meet Lexa's lips in a soft kiss. 

"Goodnight Lexa." Clarke knew she had a stupid grin on her face, but luckily so did Lexa as they pulled away and Clarke turned to open her door. 

"Goodnight Clarke." Lexa replied, and Clarke was sure her face was glowing red in the darkness as she opened the door and closed it without looking back. That was on hell of a first date.


	2. Second Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa wants to take Clarke out to dinner. But when they start talking about their pasts things get a little intense. Will Lexa think it's worth it? Will Clarke?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second date!
> 
> Find me:
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic
> 
> Twitter: @beast_kru
> 
> Thanks for reading!!

 

Clarke's phone buzzed next to her bed and she sat up quickly to look hopefully at the screen. It had been two days since she had gone out with Lexa. Every time her phone went off her heart skipped a beat hoping it was Lexa. Every time it wasn't she thought of new reasons why she had ruined her chances with Lexa. Dealing with Anya had been too much for a first date, that was her first thought. Maybe she just really wasn't as into her as she thought she had been. The more time she had to think the more ridiculous the reasoning became. Maybe she doesn't like blondes.

Clarke scooped up her phone and nearly fell out of bed when she saw Lexa's name shining brightly up at her. Clarke swiped to view the text quicker than she ever had before.

_'Hey, feel like having dinner with me tonight?'_

Clarke heart beat against her chest as she looked down at the words, reading them over and over. She moved her thumbs to type a reply but stopped, her fingers hovering over the phone. She didn't want to seem to desperate, replying right after she got Lexa's message. Clarke put her phone back on her nightstand, but didn't take her eyes off of it while she waited for time to tick away. Five minutes passed, ten minutes and then her phone lit up again and Lexa's name popped up. 

_'You don't have to wait to reply ;) How's 8?'_

Clarke smiled and picked up her phone again. She quickly replied. 

_'Sound good to me. I'll see you soon :)'_

Clarke couldn't help the flutter in her chest as she looked at the time and saw that it was already 6:30pm. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom to find the door closed. Clarke knocked rapidly, too excited to care about being annoying to her roommates. 

"What?!" Raven's annoyed voice called out from behind the door. 

"Raven, let me in I have a date with Lexa tonight." Clarke called back excitedly. The door flew open and Raven appeared before her with a full mud mask on her face and her long hair wrapped in a blue towel. 

"Why didn't you say so?!" Raven was almost more excited than Clarke as she ushered her into the bathroom. "Get it girl." Raven winked at her before walking out of the bathroom and closing the door behind her. 

Clarke got ready and after about an hour of prep she looked at herself in the mirror and gave an anxious sigh. "What am I doing?" She asked her reflection, puffing out her cheeks as she took another deep breath out. 

Clarke walked back into her room and checked her phone to see that Anya had text her while she was getting ready. Clarke's heart began to beat rapidly again, but in a completely different way. Clarke tentatively opened the message, not sure if she wanted to deal with this right before seeing Lexa. 

_'Thinking about you. Can I see you?'_

Clarke couldn't believe this was happening. She debated about responding and thought it would be better if she just left it for now. The last thing she wanted was her phone going off with messages from her ex all night. Just as she was about to put down her phone another message popped up, but this was from Lexa. 

' _I'm leaving now. I'll see you in a little bit.'_

Clarke smiled and pushed Anya's message out of her mind. She wanted to have a good time with Lexa tonight and get to know her without any drama. 

About twenty minutes later the apartment intercom buzzed and Clarke heard hurried footsteps running over to answer the door. Clarke knew it had to be Raven as she took one last look in the mirror and put her phone in the back pocket of her dark washed skinny jeans. 

"Clarke, your date is on her way up!" Raven called to her as she walked down the hall. "Should Octavia and I give her the talk?"

"Shut up." Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes at her friend as she walked into the living room to see Octavia lounging on the couch in her sweat pants with a bottle of beer in her hand.

Raven was standing by the door, her legs moving with excitement as she waited for Lexa to knock.

When there was a knock at the door Raven nearly jumps out of her skin and it's Clarke who holds up her hands to calm her down before she answers the door. 

"Hey Lexa." Raven greets her with a smile, doing a very bad job at hiding her excitement over seeing her.

Lexa smiled and held out her hand to Raven. "Hi, I don't know if we've really been introduced. You're Raven, right?" 

Raven took Lexa's hand and nodded, "That's me. I basically make all the good choices for Clarke." 

Clarke quickly walked over to the door and opened it wider to reveal Lexa. "Okay, you ready to go." Clarke smiled and playfully pushed Raven away from the door. 

Lexa laughed, "Yeah, it was nice to meet you Raven." She called at Raven's disappearing figure. 

"Nice to meet you too. Make good choices." Raven's voice traveled into the hallway as Clarke shut the apartment door as quickly as possible. 

Lexa laughed again as she walked with Clarke down the hall. “She’s funny. I like her.”

Clarke smiled and shook her head, “She thinks she’s hilarious. So, where are we eating?”

“I thought we could go to this new pizza place. Do you like pizza?” Lexa asked hopefully.

“I love pizza.” Clarke smiled and felt a little rush as Lexa’s hand brushed against hers once they walked out of the apartment complex.

It happened a few more times before they got to Lexa’s car. “Here let me get that for you.” Lexa smiled and opened Clarke’s door for her. Clarke could feel a small blush run up the back of her neck as she slid into the passenger seat and let Lexa close the door. The car smelled like vanilla and something else pleasant that Clarke couldn’t place. Lexa got into the drivers seat and both girls put on their seatbelts.

Lexa started the car and the radio turned on playing one of Clarke’s favorite bands. “I love this song!” Clarke smiled and Lexa turned up the radio. “I just learned to play this on the guitar.”

Lexa drove and tapped her hands on the steering wheel to the beat of the song. “You play guitar?” She asked with a smile. “That’s great. I’ve always wanted to learn.”

Clarke looked over at Lexa and gave her a flirtatious grin. “Maybe I can teach you sometime.”

Lexa glanced at Clarke before putting her eyes back on the road, but a small smile played on her lips. “I’d like that.”

They pulled into the pizza place and it wasn’t very busy. When they walked in there was only three other tables filled. Lexa asked the hostess if they could sit in a booth in the back corner. Clarke liked the idea of more privacy so they could really talk and get to know each other. It was a very different environment than their first date.

“So, you said something about two other dates that were worse than our first one.” Clarke brought up the subject after they had eaten and were on their second glass of wine respectively.

“You sure you want to know about all that on our second date?” Lexa lifted her eyebrows in surprise.

“Well, it’s gotta happen sometime. Why not now?” Clarke was feeling the effects of the alcohol on herself.

“Alright.” Lexa sat up straighter and a more serious look came to her face. Clarke second-guessed her answer about wanting to know. “The first girl I went out with actually robbed me. I took her back to my place and she ended up taking thousands of dollars worth of stuff while I slept.” Lexa drank the last of her wine before continuing. “The second girl was straight up stalker status. I took her out once and there was not a moment I was not getting a text or call from her. She wanted to know where I was at all times. I actually had to change my number because she just wouldn’t stop even after I asked her to so many times.”

Clarke was shocked, she had never heard of anything like that after only one date. “So, you took a girl you just met back to your place, had sex, and woke up to her gone with most of your stuff?” Clarke was stuck on that story. She had never had anything close to a one night stand and wasn’t sure if she was okay with being with someone who did stuff like that.

“Well, I didn’t think the girl would rob me when I took her home. I just..” Lexa trailed off and poured more wine in her glass.

“You just wanted to get laid.” Clarke finished for her and took a long drink from her own glass.

“I guess you could say that. But it’s not something I make a habit out of, just so you know.” Lexa assured Clarke. “I mean, I didn’t try to take you home when we went out.” Judging by the look on Lexa’s face she knew just like Clarke that what she had said wasn’t something that made Clarke feel better. “I just mean, like, you’re different. I don’t want to just sleep with you.” Lexa tried to explain, but it was clear to both women that all she was doing was digging herself in deeper.

“It’s okay.” Clarke smiled and set her glass down. “I’m not running out of the restaurant. You’re allowed to do what you want with who you want. You’re an adult.”

“I just want you to know that I’m not just in this for the sex or anything.” Lexa let it drop with that.

Clarke nodded, “I believe you. We all have our past Lexa. I’m not judging who you were or are. I’m here with you right now because I want to get to know you.”

Lexa smiled and put her hand over Clarke’s as it lay on the table between them. “That makes me happy.”

They started talking about different topics as they kept drinking and laughing. Finally the subject Clarke dreaded came up.

“Can we talk about Anya?” Lexa asked finishing her third glass and pouring her forth.

“What do you want to know?” Clarke asked sipping her third glass and not looking at Lexa. “We dated for a little over a year and it turned out she cheated on me for months. She tried to deny it, but I caught her and ended it. Since than she’s tried to talk to me and get back with me, but I don’t want her back.”

Lexa nodded, looking like she was in deep thought, taking in everything Clarke was telling her. “I’m sorry, that sucks. Was that the first time you saw her since you broke up?”

Clarke thought quickly and without knowing why she nodded, but it was a lie. “Yeah, I’ve avoided her since the break up.” Clarke tried to make excuses as to why she lied to Lexa in her head. She didn’t want to make things more complicated. It didn’t matter because she hadn’t seen her or talked to her since meeting Lexa. But she still felt guilt gnawing at her stomach.

“It’s getting late. I should get you home before Raven worries.” Lexa smiled and paid the check.

Clarke nodded and let Lexa lead the way of the now empty restaurant and back to her car. Lexa once again opened the door for her and Clarke felt the familiar warmth in the back of her neck, this time with a flutter in her stomach. Lexa treated her like she had never been treated before and she really liked that.

Lexa got in the car and started to drive. Clarke saw her hand move from the wheel and thought she was going to turn the radio up again, but instead she took Clarke’s hand and laced their fingers together.

“Is this okay?” Lexa asked after a moment.

“Yeah.” Clarke smiled and looked down at their intertwined hands.

Once they pulled up in front of Clarke’s apartment the tension in the car was making Clarke feel lightheaded. Lexa shut off the car, but Clarke could still feel the buzzing from the engine moving through her body.

“I had a really good time Clarke.” Lexa finally spoke and broke the silence. “Can I see you again?”

Clarke looked over to see a hopeful expression on Lexa’s face and smiled, “I’d love to see you again.”

Lexa smiled and leaned closer to Clarke, “Can I kiss you now?” Lexa asked, and Clarke loved that she did that.

Clarke nodded and moved closer as she felt Lexa’s hand on her cheek. Their lips met in a soft kiss and the fluttering in Clarke’s stomach turned into tremors that shook her core. Clarke was aware that she wasn’t breathing and how cheesy it was that Lexa literally took her breath away.

They pulled away and Lexa’s smile was wide and Clarke was sure it mirrored her own expression. “I’ll text you.” Lexa pursed her lips together and then bit her bottom lip and Clarke reached for the door handle.

“Talk to you soon.” Clarke smiled as she got out of the car and closed the door. Clarke felt herself floating, but there was something that was still bothering her in the back of her head. As was with the last few months of her life it was Anya, and she didn’t know how to shake it.

 

 

 


	3. Broken Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa doesn't hesitate to ask Clarke out on their third date. But when Anya finally gets through to Clarke, will she be able to manipulate her ex away from Lexa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newest Installment is up and running! I hope you like it. :)
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic
> 
> Twitter: @beast_kru

Clarke watched her phone light up and buzz on the kitchen table. Before she could get to it Raven’s hand swooped in and snatched it from the table. 

“Who could this be?” Raven smirked as Octavia leaned in to look at the screen. “Oh look, it’s Lexa.” Raven swiped the screen and read the message out loud, “Hey, how does tonight sound?”

Raven and Octavia smiled widely at Clarke and then Raven started typing a reply. 

“Hey, what are you writing?” Clarke asked, trying to grab the phone from Raven. But Raven was too quick for her and jumped up from her seat, still typing away. “Come on, you have to tell me before you send it to her.” Clarke got up too and followed Raven into the living room. She was half amused but also a little annoyed by her friend’s invasive nature. 

“Lexa,” Raven started to read her reply after she finished typing. “I would love to see you tonight or any night. Maybe we can come back to my place after…winky face.” Raven stuck out her tongue as Clarke chased her with renewed energy before she could hit send.

“Raven, don’t you dare!” Clarke caught Raven and tackled her on the couch as she wrestled the phone from her hands. 

“Calm down Griffin.” Raven laughed as Clarke took her phone and quickly erased Raven’s reply. She typed a quick response and put her phone in her back pocket. “Let me guess. You said something like ‘Sure with a smiley face.’” Raven rolled her eyes. 

Clarke got off Raven and smiled sheepishly, “So what if I did? It works. Doesn’t it?” She asked a little more weakly as Octavia walked into the room with her arms crossed over her chest and an amused expression on her face.

“Sure, I mean if you’re not trying to get laid anytime soon. It’s great.” Raven shrugged, moving away from Clarke’s hand as she tried to playfully swat at her. “Hey, you asked.” Raven smirked, hiding behind the much smaller Octavia. “But you must be doing something right, she keeps asking you out.”

Octavia chuckled and lifted her eyebrows, “Clarke, the Lexa whisperer.” 

Clarke walked out of the room and down the hall to her room, “I have you both.” 

Raven called after her, “We love you too babycakes.” Clarke rolled her eyes as she shut her door and flopped on her bed. Her mind went to thoughts of tonight and Lexa. And now that she had talked to Raven and Octavia her mind went to things that made a heat rise up her neck and a tingle move up her legs. 

Clarke closed her eyes and imaged what it would be like to have Lexa come back to her room tonight. The thought of heated skin moving against her fingertips and soft lips pressing against her tender skin, it made her squirm on her bed. Clarke let her mind wander even further and the heat that started on her neck was now moving throughout her body. 

Clarke’s phone buzzed in her back pocket and made her jump up from her bed. It took her a second to realize it was her phone. Clarke grabbed her phone and expected to see Lexa’s name, but her jaw went slightly slack when she saw Anya’s name. 

Clarke stared at it wishing she wasn’t as tempted as she was to open the message. She sighed and slide open the message, knowing it was a mistake. 

“I need you. It’s my brother, he left again.” 

Clarke groaned and fell back on her bed. Anya’s brother Lincoln had struggled with a drug problem for a lot of years. It had been something that Anya had always had a hard time dealing with because she had always looked up to Lincoln. Clarke had held her so many nights when Anya’s family didn’t know where Lincoln was or if he was alive. 

Clarke felt her heart break for Anya. She knew she would feel nothing after everything Anya had put her through. Clarke knew she had to meet her, she had to be there for Anya. 

“Where do you want to meet?” 

Clarke responded, feeling guilty because she knew she would have to cancel her date with Lexa. She just wasn’t sure what she was going to say when she did. 

Anya’s response was almost immediate. 

“Do you want to meet at our old spot in an hour?” 

Clarke sighed and quickly typed that she would be there. The harder part was clicking on Lexa’s name and trying to think of something to say.

She had told Lexa just the other night that she didn’t speak to Anya, and that hadn’t been true. Now, she was meeting Anya and breaking their third date for it. 

Clarke didn’t want to hurt Lexa and she was determined to make things work. Clarke told herself that this was going to be the last time she met with Anya. She would end any ties she had to Anya tonight. 

Clarke felt a pang of guilt in her stomach as she typed her message to Lexa.  
“Hey, I’m not feeling great. Raincheck?” 

Clarke stared at her phone until she saw Lexa’s name pop up. Her heart beat faster, she was sure something about her lie leaked through the phone and Lexa could tell her wasn’t being honest. Clarke slide open the message and held her breath.

“I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. Yeah, maybe this weekend.”

Clarke slowly let out her breath and stared at the words on the screen. She thought she would feel better after seeing Lexa’s response, but really it just made her feel worse. 

Clarke laid on her bed for a few more minutes before she worked up enough energy to get ready to meet Anya. She kept assuring herself it was the last time she would do this. It was the only thing that kept the gnawing pangs of guilt at bay. 

Clarke said goodbye to her roommates quickly not telling them where she was going. She hoped they assumed she was just meeting with Lexa. 

Clarke walked the few blocks to the café she and Anya would always go to when they went out together. With every step she thought about turning around and texting Anya to tell her she couldn’t meet her. But all she could think about was Anya’s broken face all the times Lincoln left. 

Clarke paused at the door, the large windows foggy with steam, but she could still make out Anya sitting alone in the corner. Clarke took a deep breath and walked in, knowing that there was no turning back once Anya looked up and saw her. 

Clarke walked over sat down across from her ex-girlfriend. She saw the look on Anya’s face and knew that this wasn’t like the other times she had wanted to talk something was different. 

“Thanks for coming Clarke.” Anya smiled and pushed a cup of black coffee in front of Clarke. “Hope you don’t mind I got you a cup.” 

Clarke smiled, despite feeling uneasy about the meeting, “Thanks. So, do you know where Lincoln is now?” Clarke took a drink of the coffee and felt it warm her body.

“He’s at home.” Anya said simply as she brought her own cup to her lips and Clarke could see the sparkle of a smile in her eyes. 

Clarke looked confused, “What? I thought you said-“ 

“I lied. I’m sorry Clarke but I had to see you. Ever since that night at the club when I saw you with that girl I knew what I had to do.” Anya explained and Clarke saw her eyes move toward the door.   
Clarke’s heart dropped, she had walked into a trap and hadn’t even realized it. “What did you do Anya?” Clarke demanded. 

“I made sure that we’d have time to get back together.” Anya’s eyes once again went to the door, but this time her face lit up with delight. Clarke didn’t want to turn around because she knew what she would find. She was just about to turn around when she saw Lexa out of the corner of her eye standing next to her. 

“Are you feeling better?” Lexa asked coldly. “I thought it was weird that you’d call off our date and Anya would find me on Facebook and ask me to meet her here.” 

Clarke looked up at Lexa’s hurt expression. “Lexa, it’s not like that. She needed to talk about-“ 

Lexa held up her hand to silence Clarke and shook her head. “I don’t need the details Clarke. If you wanted your ex back you didn’t have to lie.” Lexa didn’t say another word. She spun around and walked out of the café before Clarke could stop her. 

Clarke was in shock, how could she have been so naïve. She turned and faced Anya who had a triumphant grin on her face. “Now, let’s talk about us.”

Clarke stood up, her voice shook with so many emotions it was making her dizzy, “You’re insane. I can’t believe I actually thought you were actually being honest with me. I never want to see you again Anya. Stay away from me.” Clarke turned and walked quickly out of the café and onto the busy sidewalk. She felt so lost and had no idea what to do now.


	4. Girl's Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke doesn't know what to do with herself after Anya ruined her shot with Lexa. Raven and Octavia hate seeing Clarke this upset, they decide it's time for a girl's night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this new chapter. 
> 
> Find me:
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic
> 
> Twitter: @beast_kru

Clarke had lost count of the number of times she tried to get a hold of Lexa. She felt horrible that she had hurt her. Clarke lay on her bed staring at her phone wishing more than anything that Lexa’s name would flash across the screen. 

“Clarke, get up we’re going out.” Raven stood with her arms crossed in Clarke’s doorway. “I’m not letting you sit around and sulk.” 

Clarke grabbed a pillow and put it over her face, “I don’t want to run into Anya.” Her voice was muffled against the pillow.

Raven walked into the room and pulled the pillow from Clarke’s face, “I will personally beat the shit out of her if she comes around.” Raven gave Clarke a confident look and smiled at her. “You can’t let her run your life, that’s what she wants.” 

Clarke sighed and looked up at Raven, “Fine. But you’re buying me a drink.” She held out her hand for Raven to help her up.

“Deal.” Raven smiled brightly and grabbed Clarke’s arm and easily pulled her up and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. “We’re leaving in an hour.” Raven let Clarke go and gave her a tap on the butt. “Wear that red thing.” Raven called over her shoulder as she walked out of the room. 

Clarke sighed knowing in the back of her mind that Raven was right, she needed to get out of her own head and go out. She walked to her closet and pulled out the short red dress with small horizontal cuts along the hips. 

Clarke got ready, but couldn’t help looking at her phone every couple of minutes. As much as she wanted to have a good time she couldn’t get Lexa off her mind. 

Octavia showed up at her door just as Clarke checked her phone for the fifth time. “Don’t make me take that phone from you.” She warned Clarke and handed her a plastic cup. “Here this will help you get in the right state of mind.” 

Clarke took the cup and gave Octavia a weary look, “Did you make this or did Raven make this?” Clarke gave the cup a sniff and made a face. “Raven made this. I could lean out a cut with this.” 

Octavia tipped the cup toward Clarke’s mouth, “Drink up, tonight you’re with us.” Clarke reluctantly let Octavia put the cup to her lips and she took a small drink. 

Clarke coughed and pulled the cup away, “If I drink this whole thing I won’t remember tonight.” 

“And that’s the plan.” Octavia winked and walked out of the room. “Let’s get going.”

Clarke took another drink from the cup and quickly put it down on her nightstand. “I’m coming.” Clarke called to her friends, grabbing her phone and walking out of the room. 

“That’s what you’re going to be saying by the end of the night!” Raven laughed as she led the way out of the apartment. Clarke couldn’t help herself but laugh at her friend’s stupid joke. She knew that she had fallen hard for Lexa, but she also knew she had screwed up. Now it was time to move on and not let Anya get involved in her life again. 

They got to the bar and Clarke stopped before they walked in. “This was where Lexa and I met on our first date.” 

Raven and Octavia looked at each other and then put their arms around Clarke, “Let’s make some new memories.” Clarke hesitated for a minute but finally decided to let her friends take her into the crowded bar. 

The three girls went right to the bar and ordered their first drinks. Clarke was determined the minute she walked into the bar that she was going to let herself just have a good time. 

Clarke was on her third drink when she noticed someone at the end of the bar that made her heart drop. “Raven, is that Lexa?” Clarke tapped her friend’s arm and pointed to the girl who was talking very closely to another smaller blonde girl. 

Raven looked up from her conversation with Octavia and turned to see what Clarke was pointing at. Clarke couldn’t hear anything else beyond her heartbeat in her ears. Raven looked back at Clarke and rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry about her. We’re here having fun.” Raven put her arm around Clarke’s shoulder and ordered shots from the bartender. 

Clarke took one last look at Lexa as she leaned in to whisper in the nameless girl’s ear before she took the shot Raven was handing her and walked onto the dance floor. She had to forget the girl who had swept her off her feet in a matter of days; she had to get Lexa’s face out of her head. 

Clarke danced and just let herself forget everything that had been bothering her the last couple of days. She closed her eyes and just felt the music run through her body. The tension she had been feeling in her muscles started to evaporate. Clarke knew it was a mix of the alcohol and the music, but she didn’t care she liked finally feeling free.

Clarke felt arms wrap around her waist and her first reaction was Raven or Octavia had come to find her. Clarke let her body move against whoever was behind her. After a few minutes she felt lips on her neck and her eyes popped open. There was no way either Raven or Octavia would kiss her like this. Clarke spun around, almost losing her balance. Strong arms wrapped more firmly around her steadying her on the dance floor. 

“Lexa!” Clarke wasn’t sure what she was feeling when she saw Lexa in front of her. Suddenly Clarke was very aware of how close they were and how much she had been grinding herself against Lexa as they were dancing. 

Lexa smiled at her but didn’t move her arms from Clarke’s waist. “Hey.” Her green eyes were shining in the low light and Clarke wasn’t sure what to do next. 

“Where’s your girl?” Clarke asked, taking a step back from Lexa and breaking her hold. Clarke looked around but didn’t see the small blonde Lexa had been chatting up at the bar. 

“I don’t have a girl. I saw you and realized how much I missed you.” Lexa reached down and took Clarke’s hand. “Unless you’re with Anya.” Clarke could tell Lexa was holding her breath as she waited for the answer. 

Clarke shook her head slowly, the alcohol really starting to go to her head. “I left her that day in the café and haven’t spoken to her. I promise.” Clarke added the last part with a small smile. Knowing she hadn’t always been honest about her interactions with Anya.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” Clarke felt herself moving closer to Lexa. “I never wanted to do that to you. It’s just complicated with Anya.” 

Lexa shook her head and ran her hands up Clarke’s arms, “We don’t have to talk about any of that right now.” Clarke was happy to hear that because she knew that she was going downhill fast. Clarke knew Lexa could tell too. 

“Can I take you home?” Lexa asked, Clarke’s own hands finding their way to Lexa’s sides, half for support and the other half just to touch her. Clarke nodded, their lips very close together but not quite touching. 

“Come on, let’s get you out of here.” Clarke leaned against Lexa as she took her off the dance floor. They walked by Octavia and Raven who were very into each other at the bar. “Hey, I’m going to take you friend home. Make sure she gets to bed safe.” Lexa looked at Raven, waiting to see her reaction to her being with Clarke again. 

Raven couldn’t help but smile, her fingers still laced in Octavia’s, “You make sure she gets tucked in.” Octavia hid her smile behind her free hand at Raven’s words. 

Clarke let Lexa take her outside, feeling the cool air on her face. “Are we going home?” She was feeling the alcohol and the closeness of Lexa so much it was overwhelming.

Lexa smiled and took Clarke’s hand in her own, “I’m taking you home.” 

Clarke barely remembered the drive home or Lexa getting her keys out of her bag. She did remember Lexa putting her in her bed and getting a glass of water from the kitchen. 

“Alright, try and sleep it off.” Lexa leaned over Clarke her hands resting on either side of Clarke’s head. 

“Will you stay with me?” Clarke knew she wouldn’t have asked if she wasn’t so far gone. But she thought that she was slightly grateful she was that far gone so she had the courage to ask Lexa to stay. 

Lexa stared down at Clarke, her expression unchanging. “Are you sure you’re in the right state of mind?” 

Clarke reached up and grabbed Lexa’s arm, “I just want you to hold me. Please?” 

Lexa’s expression softened and she nodded slowly, “Alright, but just cuddling tonight.” Clarke felt her heartbeat speed up, even in her drunken state it made her feel special that Lexa wasn’t going to take advantage of her. 

Clarke nodded and pulled the covers back to let Lexa lay next to her in bed. 

Lexa kicked off her shoes and crawled in next to Clarke. She draped an arm over Clarke and curled her body into Clarke’s. “Goodnight Clarke.” Lexa whispered.

“Goodnight Lexa.” Clarke whispered back, loving the weight of Lexa’s arm over her tired body. It made her feel like she was safe and protected.


	5. Hangover Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Clarke's rough night it may be time to finally talk about where things are going with Lexa. But things are a little more complicated than either of them want to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the newest chapter.
> 
> Find me:
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic
> 
> Twitter: @beast_kru

Clarke’s head was pounding; she didn’t even want to open her eyes. She groaned and rolled over feeling the empty space beside her. That is what made her open her eyes. Lexa was nowhere to be found. Clarke squinted at her bedside table and saw a glass of water and a bottle of pills sitting next to her phone and a folded note.

Clarke grabbed the note and rolled onto her stomach to read what Lexa had written.

Hey C – Drink all of the water and take some Tylenol your head is probably killing you. I had to go to work but I’ll come check on you when I get done. Try and sleep. I’ll bring you some coffee. L

Clarke couldn’t help but smile as she read the note again, her eyes focused on the perfect ‘L’ that was at the end.

Clarke sat up and drank the water Lexa had left her. She took two pills and laid back down not wanting to move any more than she had to at the moment.

She took the note again and read it, a huge smile on her tired face.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Raven smiled as she stood in her doorway. “I see you found what Lexa left for you.” Raven walked over and sat at the foot of the bed. “Do you remember last night at all?”

Clarke nodded and smiled, “I remember seeing you and O getting a little close.” Clarke watched Raven dip her head with a small smile.

“Shut up Clarke.” Raven shook her head and got up from the bed. “Lexa said she’d be back around one by the way.” Raven looked over her shoulder and winked. “You may not want to be making out with her note when she shows up.” Clarke grabbed a pillow and threw it in Raven’s direction as she walked out of the room laughing.

Clarke felt her eyes growing heavy again and she let herself fall asleep. The next time she opened her eyes she felt a familiar weight on her stomach. Clarke rolled over and curled into Lexa’s body breathing in her scent.

“I brought you coffee.” Lexa mumbled sleepily as she wrapped her arm more securely around Clarke.

“Thank you.” Clarke mumbled back, not wanting to move ever again. “What time is it?”

Lexa kissed the top of Clarke’s head and reached for her phone in her pocket. “A little after one. How are you feeling?”

“Better now.” Clarke smirked, taking another deep breath and letting her lips touch Lexa’s neck as she spoke.

After a few minutes Lexa finally moved to sit up in bed. “We should talk.”

Clarke’s eyes opened and she felt her heart start to race at Lexa’s words. She knew it was coming, but she hadn’t expected it so soon.

Clarke sat up and looked at Lexa for the first time since last night. She had her long hair up in a ponytail and she was wearing black-rimmed glasses.

“You’re right we should.” Clarke agreed. “You start.” Clarke laughed, feeling the tension of the moment as she picked at her bedspread.

“Well,” Lexa started grabbing one of the coffees and handing it to Clarke. “I think it’s pretty obvious I like spending time with you.”

Clarke took the coffee and smiled, “I like spending time with you too.”

“I want to be with you, but I think after everything right now we should probably take it slow.” Lexa bit her bottom lip and Clarke felt her heart drop a little. She didn’t blame Lexa at all because she knew everything was a little messed up after Anya got involved.

“I get that.” Clarke nodded sadly.

“Hey,” Lexa lifted Clarke’s chin and gave her a soft peck on the lips. “Would you be against being friends who cuddle for now?”

Clarke felt like all of the air had left her body. She wanted all of Lexa, but she couldn’t bear the thought of not having Lexa at all. At the point Clarke would take anything Lexa offered because she wanted this girl more than she could explain.

“Okay. For now,” Clarke nodded slowly. “but maybe something more later?”

“What do you think?” Lexa leaned in again and captured Clarke’s lips. Clarke felt herself falling back on the bed as she kissed Lexa back. They laid together kissing and hands roaming over each other as Clarke felt herself feeling more alive than she had in quite a while.

Clarke felt Lexa’s hands roaming under her shirt and the electricity started to course through her body.

Lexa’s body was almost on top of Clarke’s as they continued their heated make out session. The only thing that could stop them is the one thing that did as Lexa’s phone started going off.

Lexa pulled away from Clarke and dug in her pocket to grab her phone. Clarke felt immediately cold at the loss of Lexa’s body heat.

“Hey.” Lexa answered her phone. Whoever was on the other end spoke quickly and Clarke couldn’t hear what they were saying. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in like thirty minutes.” Lexa responded to the person. “Alright, bye.” Lexa pushed a button on her phone and shoved it back in her pocket.

Clarke sat up again and Lexa got up from the bed. “You leaving?” Clarke asked as Lexa put her shoes on.

“I’m sorry. I have to go take care of something.” Lexa turned to face Clarke and gave her a sad look. “I can come back later or maybe we can go out tomorrow?” Lexa offered and leaned in to kiss Clarke’s lips.

“Yeah, tomorrow sounds good.” Clarke couldn’t see herself moving from her bed for the rest of the day.

“I’ll text you.” Lexa gave Clarke one last kiss and grabbed her bag before walking out of the door.

Clarke sighed and laid back down still smelling Lexa in her pillows. She didn’t remember falling asleep but the next time Clarke opened her eyes it was dark outside.

Clarke saw her phone lighting up on the nightstand and picked it up to see that Lexa was calling her.

“Hello?” Clarke answered groggily. “Lexa?” Where ever Lexa was it was loud and she could barely hear her voice.

“Clarke?” Lexa’s voice was slurred and Clarke knew she had gone out. “Clarke, hey listen.” Clarke pressed her ear to the phone to try and hear Lexa’s drunken voice. “I hooked up with a girl tonight and I need you to know. It meant nothing.” Clarke’s heart shattered and the shards were cutting her apart inside.

“What?” The words barely got out of Clarke’s dry throat. “You had sex?”

“Can I come over?” Lexa asked, either ignoring or not hearing Clarke’s question.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” Clarke felt her throat starting to tighten up. “Maybe you should ask the girl you hooked up with if you can stay with her.”

There was a pause and the music and voices on Lexa’s end got quieter. Clarke knew she was walking away from where ever she was. “Clarke, we aren’t together, remember? I just wanted you to know that these girls don’t mean anything to me. It’s just for fun. But I can’t be with you right now.”

Clarke shook her head and felt the tears burning her eyes. She had done this to herself by agreeing to basically being friends with benefits with Lexa. Now Lexa was keeping her distance from Clarke and apparently hooking up with other girls when she went out.

“I don’t know if I can do this Lexa.” Clarke finally said.

“Just let me come over so we can talk.” Lexa begged.

“Sleep it off and we can talk tomorrow.” Clarke was trying to be strong. She really did want to see Lexa tonight but not like this.

“Promise?” Clarke could hear Lexa’s sadness through the phone.

“Yeah, I promise.” Clarke couldn’t shuffle through her emotions quickly enough to know how she was feeling. “Goodnight Lexa.”

“Goodnight.” Lexa responded. Clarke didn’t wait to hang up. She couldn’t handle anymore tonight.

This was going to be complicated. Clarke knew she could just walk away now and be done with everything including Lexa. But the idea of leaving Lexa again left her feeling emptier than trying to work this situation out. She knew she needed Lexa for some reason and Clarke thought Lexa knew the same thing.


	6. Consequence Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke needs to finally do what is right for her. She wants to protect her heart from anymore pain. And Lexa needs to come to terms with her true feelings for Clarke and figure out if it's worth giving up her old lifestyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again!
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic  
> Twitter: @beast_kru

Clarke woke up the next morning hoping that the night before had been a dream. But judging by the text messages Lexa had left her there was no way to deny what had happened. Lexa owed her nothing, they were dating, but Clarke couldn't help but feel hurt. She had already gone down this road with Anya and she knew she didn't want to risk her heart again. No matter how deep the connection was with Lexa she had to protect herself first. That was the mistake she had continued to make with Anya, not caring for herself and staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons. Clarke picked up her phone and scrolled through the messages Lexa had left her through the night.

_"Hey, I'm sorry."_

_"When can I come over?"_

_"I really never meant to hurt you."_

Clarke tossed her phone to the foot of her bed and closed her eyes. She couldn't cave to Lexa, there had to be some sort of conversation where she explained how she felt to Lexa but that didn't mean she had to forgive her. 

She picked up her phone and told Lexa to meet her at her place in an hour. She didn't want to go out and she really just wanted to get this over with. Clarke got out of bed and showered. Her mind kept going back and forth to not wanting to blame Lexa for her actions, to knowing that she couldn't keep being a doormat for people who didn't want her in their lives the way she wanted to be. If Lexa truly did care for her this wouldn't be how she handled the relationship and Clarke needed to know if she was worth it to her. 

Octavia and Raven had left for lunch and Clarke was relieved not to have an audience when they sat down to talk. Clarke ran her fingers through her damp hair and looked in the mirror in the hallway. She could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest and not for the usual reason when Lexa was coming over. 

A knock at the door made Clarke jump and her breathing hitch. There was no backing down now, she needed to be strong and not give into Lexa just because she had feelings for her. 

Clarke walked slowly to the door, each stepped with the added bass of her heart racing in her ears. Clarke opened the door and saw Lexa standing in front of her with a cup of coffee in each hand. "Hey." She said sheepishly, holding out one of the cups for Clarke. "Sorry I didn't ask if you wanted something. I just thought coffee is never a bad thing in the morning."

Clarke took the cup and gave Lexa a small smile, her resolve not cracking despite the kind gesture. "Thanks. Come in." Clarke moved aside so Lexa could walk into her apartment. 

"How are you?" Lexa asked as she walked over to the couch and sat down. Clarke sat down next to her, but made sure to keep a good distance between them. 

"I've been better." Clarke answered honestly. 

"Yeah, I get that." Lexa lowered her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. "Listen, Clarke I just want to say-"

Clarke shook her head. "I don't need you to say you're sorry again. Really you don't owe me an apology. I just don't understand why.." Clarke wrapped her hands around the warm cup and looked down biting her lower lip nervously. 

Lexa sighed and took another long drink. "I don't know Clarke. I mean I've never really done the whole relationship thing. I hook up and I get out. But when I saw you in that coffee shop it wasn't about that. There was something different. It scares me. You scare me." 

Clarke looked up shocked. "I scare you?" 

"You make me feel like I can actually be with someone for a long time. And when I thought of that I just got scared. I thought I'd do something or say something to screw it up. So, I left here and went right to the club. I thought I was just going to have a couple drinks but I screwed up." Lexa's green eyes were glassy and Clarke felt a small twinge of empathy but shook it away.

"You could have talked to me Lexa. I would have told you I had feelings for you too." Clarke couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice.

"Had?" Lexa pursed her lips tightly.

"I don't know anymore. You already know what I went though with Anya and I don't want to go through that again." Clarke confessed, putting her coffee down on the table next to them. "I don't want to pursue something you obviously aren't ready for."

Clarke could tell her words stung Lexa and a small part of her was satisfied that she had made her feel a least a little pain for what she did to her. 

"I understand. But I want you to know that I'm still into you Clarke. I want to be better for you." Lexa seemed like she was forcing herself to look at Clarke. The blonde could tell that Lexa wasn't use to this type of emotional honesty. 

"Maybe someday I can trust you again. But until than I think we should be friends. Nothing more." Clarke was very proud of herself for the resolve she was showing. "I should get ready for work." Clarke wanted to end the conversation before her resolve did start to crack. 

Lexa nodded and slowly got up from the couch. Clarke thought she had wanted to say something else, but stopped herself. "I'll see you around Clarke." They didn't hug or even really look at each other as Lexa turned to leave. 

Clarke let out a sigh as she heard the front door open and close. She felt empowered that she hadn't let herself fall back into her feelings. She used her head and not her heart to make that decision. And she knew deep down it was the right call. Lexa wasn't ready, not yet. 

Her day at work was long and her mind kept wandering to different things. Her relationship with Anya and how heartbroken she had been when it was all over. How special Lexa had made her feel. And how Lexa and dug up those old feelings of hurt and betrayal so easily. Clarke was happy when work was over and she didn't have to be alone with her thoughts anymore. 

She walked up the stairs to her apartment door and heard Raven and Octavia talking excitedly as she unlocked the deadbolt. She stopped short of walking into the apartment when she saw what was waiting for her. Flowers of every color, size, and shape filled the small space. Raven poked her head out from behind a rather large orchid and smiled. "So, you and Lexa starting a greenhouse you forgot to tell us about?" Octavia laughed as she moved a pink vase of roses to the dining room table. 

"These are all from Lexa?" Clarke asked, finally walking into her place and closing the door. "There must be hundreds."

"307 before I lost count." Octavia lifted her eyebrows in amusement. "This girl has caught some feelings for you Griffin."

"Yeah..." Clarke answered simply taking in the garden that surrounded her. 

 

 


	7. Not Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A room full of flowers and Clarke doesn't know what to do. Will Raven and Octavia have some answers or even more questions for Clarke?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the lack of updates. I'm hoping I can get back on the chapter a week schedule. 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this latest update.
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

“For a girl who just got a flower shop delivered you don’t seem very excited.” Raven noted, as Clarke closed the door behind her.

 

“It’s..complicated.” Clarke sighed deeply and fell onto the only open spot in the living room, the couch. 

 

“What’s up?” Raven and Octavia both stopped what they were doing and walked over to sit next to Clarke. “It seems like everything's going great with you guys. Did we miss something?”

 

Clarke shook her head completely disheartened. “She called me last night.” Clarke felt a tear fall down her cheek. She reached up and wiped it away angrily. “Apparently she thought it was a good idea to hook up with some other girl.” Clarke let out a humorless laugh as she stood up and looked down at her friends. “Doesn’t matter really does it? We weren’t really together so I have no right to be upset. I do this to myself all the time, don’t I? I should be used to feeling like this.” 

 

Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. On top of the anger and pain that was filling her chest, Raven and Octavia were looking at her like a wounded animal. She hated feeling like this and she hated that she had put herself in the position to feel like this. 

 

“I’m going to lay down for a while.” Clarke spun on her heels and didn’t bother to wait for either of her friends to speak. She walked down the hall and slammed her bedroom door before letting the tears really fall. 

 

Clarke threw her purse against the wall and watched as her phone fell out of it and onto the floor. “Shit.” She ran over to scoop it up. “Mom’ll kill me if I break another one.” She checked the device to make sure everything was still working on it. She sighed with relief when she saw that everything seemed to be okay. Her screen lite up and without thinking she turned the phone over to see Lexa’s name pop up on the screen. 

 

She didn’t want to answer it. Clarke wanted to let it go to voicemail. But the anger that burned so close to the surface overtook her and she clicked the green answer button on her phone before she could stop herself. 

 

“Look Lexa…” Clarke started, but Lexa interrupted her excitedly. 

 

“Did you get them? I wanted to surprise you. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was for everything.”

 

Lexa was barely taking a breath and Clarke felt her chest burning. This is what Lexa thought would fix everything? Hadn’t she been listening at all when Clarke had told her about Anya? Did she even really care about her at all? It was going to take so much more than an apartment full of flowers to make Clarke forgive Lexa. It may just be too much to even let Lexa back into her life. Lexa was still going on about how sorry she was and how she hadn’t meant to hurt Clarke.

 

“Lexa...Lexa...Lexa!” Clarke finally had to shout to get her to listen. “The flowers...they are beautiful.” Clarke could almost hear Lexa’s smile, and in her mind it was cocky thinking she had gotten away with sleeping with someone else after just leaving Clarke. “But it’s not...it’s not what I need from you. Don’t you get that?” 

 

Silence.

 

“I’ve been burned before and…” Clarke started again, but she didn’t get to speak for long.

 

“But Clarke it’s not like that. I’m not An..” Lexa tried to interrupt but Clarke kept going. 

 

“Lexa, it doesn’t matter if you meant to hurt me or if you thought something else was happening here. The point is you hurt me. I can’t just be okay after that.” Clarke felt tears in her eyes as she continued. “You made a choice.”

 

“Clarke…” Lexa’s voice sounded thin and full of emotion. “Don’t do this.” 

 

“I’m sorry. But I have to make a choice too. I can’t have you in my life right now.” Clarke didn’t wait for Lexa to respond. She couldn’t take it anymore. She ended the call and fell onto her bed. Sobs racked her body as she let the phone drop from her hand to the floor. She didn’t care anymore, she was numb to it all. 

 

Clarke cried as she remembered how much she thought she had connected with Lexa. But how could someone that cared about her at all treat her like this? Maybe it was just her luck with relationships. 

 

At some point Clarke fell asleep because the next thing she knew there was a soft knock on her bedroom door. 

 

“Griffin, get up! We’re going out.” Raven’s voice called from the other side. “And before you try and tell us you’re not ready just remember I’m already stronger than you and I’ve got Octavia on standby. We are ready and able to carry you out of here” 

 

Clarke sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. “Raven, please…” 

 

Her bedroom door opened and Raven was standing there with a cup of tea in her hand. “Clarke.” Her friend walked in and handed her the warm cup. “This sucks. I know it does. But staying in a thinking about it isn’t going to help you.” Raven sat down next to Clarke and put an uncharacteristically gentle hand on her leg. “Maybe you haven’t found ‘the one’ yet.” Raven rolled her eyes as she put air quotes around her words. “But damn girl you are young, hot, and single.” There was her Raven. 

 

“Now.” Raven stood up and opened Clarke’s closet. “Put this on, because it makes your ass look amazing, and meet us in the living room in an hour.” Raven gave Clarke a wink and smile before she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.  

 

Clarke wanted to fight it. She had no desire to go out and be around anyone. But she knew that Raven threatening to carry her out of the apartment wasn’t a bluff. She sighed and got up to start getting ready. If anything she knew that she would be able to have some drinks and maybe forget a little. 

 

The hour Raven had given her to get ready flew by and Clarke looked over to see the mug of tea Raven had brought her untouched as she put the finishing touches on herself. Clarke didn’t know why she was even trying, she was really just going out to drink. It was probably just habit. 

 

Clarke walked out of her room and slipped her phone in her bag. The screen lit up for what felt like the hundredth time with a message from Lexa. Clarke had stopped looking at them after the first seven. 

 

“That’s my girl.” Raven gave Clarke a lopsided grin. “Come on. Octavia and I are taking you out tonight. Trust me by the time we’re done with you you’re not going to remember your own name.” 

 

“Promise?” Clarke let out a small laugh as she walked out of the door with Raven. Octavia walked out behind them and locked up the apartment. They decided to go to a different club, none of them wanting to run into any trouble with exes. 

 

The night air was slightly chilly and Clarke hoped they get to the bar before her legs froze and broke off underneath her. She wrapped her arms around herself and was a little tempted to look at her phone to see if Lexa was still texting her. Before she could reach for her purse they turned the corner and saw the club just ahead. 

 

Clarke could hear the bass pumping onto the street outside of the club and a familiar adrenaline rush filled her as they got in the short line to go inside. 

 

“You doing okay?” Octavia asked Clarke for the tenth time since they left their apartment. 

 

“You gotta stop asking me that.” Clarke shook her head and smiled at her friend. “I’m out. One step at a time.” 

 

Octavia smiled back and put her arm around her friend as they walked up to the front of the line. Raven paid the cover for them and finally Clarke was greeted with the warmth of the club. 

 

The minute they walked into the club Clarke knew something was up because Raven quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her across the dance floor to the VIP section. Clarke tried to stop her to ask where she was taking her, but Raven really was strong and easily maneuvered her through the thick crowd dancing to the thudding music. 

 

“Raven, what the hell! Where are we going?” Clarke asked, still trying fruitlessly to break Raven’t iron grasp on her arm. 

 

“Clarke.” Raven stopped in front of one of the tables in the VIP section and finally let go of Clarke. “Did I tell you we were meeting one of my work friends here?” 

 

“No.” Clarke felt a wave of dread wash over her. “You must have forgotten to mention that.” She said through gritted teeth, as a tall blonde got up from the table behind Raven and walked over to them. 

 

“I thought I mentioned it.” Raven’s expression told Clarke that she knew she’d be in for it when they got back home. But Clarke knew there was nothing she could do right now. 

 

“Clarke, this is Niylah.” Raven pointed to the tall girl who smiled widely at her. 

 

“Hi, don’t worry Raven didn’t mention she was bringing you here either.” Niylah held out her hand to Clarke. “But she got us a VIP table so I say we drink on her.” The girl winked at Clarke who couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

 

“That sounds like a plan to me.” Clarke let Niylah help her up the small step to get to the table. She turned to face Raven who still had a huge smile on her face. “You know I will kill you for this.” Clarke whispered to her friend.

 

Raven nodded, “Well, I’m gonna go find Octavia and dance a little.” Clarke’s eyes grew wide as she watched Raven start to turn. Her friend turned back and motioned for her to turn back to the table. “It’s like Niylah said, just drink on me and don’t worry about anything...or anyone else.” Raven winked and before Clarke could stop her she was gone into the sea of people. 

  
Clarke turned to see Niylah already pouring two shots. This was not the night she had been expecting at all. 


	8. Drunk Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven has gotten Clarke out of the apartment and right into her trap. Now it's Clarke's turn to let go and just feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't beta'd but I wanted to get it posted because I'm excited about where this story is going. I will warn you right now this chapter isn't Clexa at all. But don't worry it will all come around in the end. 
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

The music was vibrating her entire body as she watched Niylah pour more shots. Clarke had lost track of how long they had been sitting at the table. But she knew that they were three shots in and she had started to feel fuzzy. 

 

“How did Raven talk you into coming tonight?” 

 

“Huh?” Clarke looked up at Niylah who was holding up another shot for her. 

 

Niylah laughed and put down the small glasses. Clarke watched as she slid closer to her in the small, leather booth. The fuzzy feeling in her body started to center in her stomach. 

 

“She text me out of the blue and told me she wanted me to meet someone.” Niylah moved so close that Clarke could smell her perfume. It was floral, but also had a spicy scent that tickled Clarke’s nose. 

 

“She said she wanted me to get out of the house. I haven’t really had much luck dating.” Clarke felt like she was hypnotized; between the loud music, alcohol, Niylah’s closeness, and her own adrenaline. It was euphoric. 

 

“That’s a shame.” 

 

Clarke could tell Niylah was under the same spell. They were magnetized, their bodies and minds doing a risky dance. Neither of them wanted to make the next move. 

 

Niylah’s breath was warm against Clarke’s already heated skin. Her own breath was coming in short, excited bursts. Her fingers and toes were tingling with anticipation. 

 

“Well, hey there.” Octavia walked up, clearly intoxicated as she slid into the booth next to Clarke. The spell was broken and Clarke watched Niylah move back to her seat and grab one of the glasses from the table. She took the shot and sighed. 

 

“Where’s Raven?” Clarke asked, her head was still spinning a little as she took her own glass from the table. 

 

“Bathroom.” Octavia grabbed the bottle that was sitting on the table and poured herself a drink. Clearly unaware of the scene she had just interrupted. 

 

Clarke felt a hand on her thigh and looked over at Niylah. The blonde had a look on her face and whether it was the closeness or the fact that they were both in the same state of mind, Clarke knew exactly what Niylah was thinking. She nodded and gave her a little smirk. 

 

“I have to hit the bathroom.” Niylah announced, but Octavia barely looked up from her drink to acknowledge her. “I’ll be right back.” Niylah’s hand slid slowly off Clarke’s lap and she winked before she got up and walked through the dancefloor. 

 

Just as she disappeared into the pulsing crowd Raven appeared. 

 

“Where did Niylah go?” She asked, just as drunk as Octavia. 

 

“She had to go make a call.” Clarke lied and knew Octavia had no idea where Niylah really was. 

 

Raven and Octavia seemed far too into each other’s company to notice Clarke slip from the table as well. 

 

Clarke walked through the crowd and could still feel the buzzing radiating through her body as she pushed open the bathroom door. The small room was dimly lit. Clarke had to squint to try and find Niylah. 

 

Before she knew it she was pulled inside one of the tiny stalls. Niylah pushed her against the cool metal wall and attacked her neck with lips and teeth. 

 

Clarke’s eyes rolled back as she felt so many sensations rush through her body. This had been the release she needed, to not think and just feel. 

 

Clarke’s lips found Niylah’s as both of their hands moved frantically under clothing. 

 

Niylah quickly moved down and dropped to her knees in front of Clarke. She felt the cool air hit her has Niylah pulled her dress up. The only thing standing between Niylah and Clarke’s center was thin, black lace. 

 

She made quick work of that and Clarke had to do everything in her power to stop her knees from giving out. Her hands went to Niylah’s hair and scraped her scalp. She lifted one hand to bite down on her knuckles to stop the moan that wanted to escape her throat. 

 

Niylah was holding back nothing from Clarke and before long there were sparks and fireworks going off behind her closed eyes. A thin layer of sweat formed at her hairline and her breathing came in ragged puffs. 

 

Niylah stood up slowly stood up and helped Clarke adjusted her messy clothing. She looked at Clarke’s flushed face and smiled. “That good?” 

 

Clarke’s back leaned back against the wall of the stall. “Let me show you.” She smirked and pushed Niylah against the opposite wall. She started to kiss Niylah’s lips hungrily, groaning as she tasted herself on Niylah’s mouth. 

Niylah gently pushed back against Clarke and lifted herself from the wall. “I’ll have to take a raincheck. Raven and Octavia are going to wonder where we went. They may be drunk, but their not stupid.”

 

Clarke smiled and nodded in understanding. “Thanks.” She immediately regretted saying anything, it sounded silly to thank someone for getting you off in a public bathroom. 

 

“Oh it was my pleasure.” Niylah leaned in and whispered into Clarke’s ear before taking a small nip. “I’ll go out first and you count to twenty before you follow.” Niylah instructed before opening the door and leaving Clarke alone in the stall. 

 

It felt much bigger without Niylah’s presence and Clarke found that she missed the warmth of her. Not because she missed Niylah, but she missed the feelings Niylah had given her. Clarke leaned against the wall once again and brushed her finger across her lips. They were swollen and a little tender. Clarke felt a pang of guilt as she thought about Niylah and their drunken hook up. She had needed the release, but she could only hope she wasn’t leading the girl on. 

 

Clarke shook herself out of her thoughts and looked around. It had been much longer than twenty seconds now. She did one last glance down at her outfit before walking out of the stall. 

 

The club was just as loud and energized as it had been when she had gone into the bathroom. Now though Clarke’s head was starting to pound and her stomach churned at the different smells that surrounded her. 

 

She got back to the table and saw that Raven and Octavia were in the middle of a heavy make out session. Niylah was sitting at the table with a nearly empty bottle of whisky in front of her. 

 

“Hey.” Clarke smiled weakly as she slid in next to her. For some reason she felt embarrassed and still a little guilty. 

 

“Hey.” Niylah smiled at her, still as confident as she had been all night. “Don’t think too much about tonight. I’m not looking for anything serious. I know you aren’t either. What happened tonight was fun and a much needed release. I’d say for both of us. It can stay right here.” Niylah leaned over and kissed Clarke’s cheek. “Unless you don’t want it to stay here.” She whispered, slipping a piece of paper into Clarke’s hand. 

 

Niylah pulled away slowly and looked over at the two girls still attacking each other with their lips. “I should go. Hey Raven, think you may come up for air anytime soon?” Niylah asked with a laugh. 

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Raven mumbled as she reluctantly pulled away from Octavia and finally looked around. 

 

“You’re leaving already?” Octavia asked, her lipstick smeared a little. 

“Already?” Niylah laughed and grabbed her purse to slid out of the booth. “It’s two in the morning.” 

 

Clarke’s eyes went wide. She had completely lost track of time. By the time she focused again Niylah was saying her goodbyes to the other two girls and walking into the sea of people once again. 

 

Raven got back in the booth and moved close to Clarke. “Have fun?” She looked into Clarke’s eyes stone cold sober. “I knew if you thought we were watching you guys you wouldn’t let yourself go.” Raven answered Clarke’s unanswered question with a sly grin. “So, did you have fun?” 

 

Clarke looked down at the table and blinked a few times. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” She answered with a slight smile.


End file.
